CluePhone

“So, I’m not sure, because I haven’t made it past the catacombs yet. Follow me, there is this switch I have to flip with my Electrical Element power.”
“Which one is me?”
“That’s you, on the right. You’re blue and I’m purple. But it is hard to tell us apart. Okay, zapping the switch now. You do not want to KNOW how long I was trying to flip the switch, using my Freeze Element instead of Electrical. Gah!”

“Okay, now you have to use your Poison Element to get rid of the vines.”
“Which button do I hit to choose my Element?”
“That one. No WAIT… that’s Fear. You need Poison.”
“Okay. How do I trigger the Poison again?”
“That button, there.”
“Cool.”
“No…. leap back up on that platform. You have to be right in front of the vines.”
“Dang it. How do I fly, again?”
“Press the ‘A’ button repeatedly.”

“This enchanted forest sucks.”
“Haven’t we been here before?”
“At least eight times. I know we have passed that moss-covered rock before.”
“Where the hell is the hermit?”
“Well, he’s a hermit. I’m guessing he won’t be easy to find.”
“Wasn’t there something about finding writing on the wall? WAIT…. Is that the letter ‘A’?”

“It says we can swing from the chain while climbing. Have you seen a chain?”
“No. Where the hell is the chain?”
“I don’t know. Hey, what if it’s that thing that is…. chaining us together?”
“Oh, for Christ’s sake. Okay, you climb and I’ll try to swing.”
“Where are you swinging to?”
“As if I know! I was stuck in the catacombs until you showed up.”
“Well, just try to swing then. I’m climbing.”
“COOL!!!! I just did a loop-de-loop! Okay, right. Calm down, it doesn’t appear that there is a time limit on this thing. Swinging to that platform now.”

“Do you remember where the boat is?”
“Wasn’t it near the ramp?”
“Where the hell is the ramp? Oh, crap. I don’t have my orb.”
“You DON’T HAVE YOUR ORB? What did you do with it?”
“I don’t know!!! I know I had it when we flipped that switch for the logs in the river.”
“Okay, we backtrack until we find your orb. Remember, the boat is on THIS side of the river.”
“Near the ramp.”
“Which has proven SO EASY to find.”
“There’s my orb, right by the switch! Told you where it was!”
“Yeah, well, just don’t drop it again. I say we fly back to the boat.”

“Do we repair the catapult first, or try to destroy the Siege Tower?”
“I think we have to protect the catapult, and then destroy the Siege Tower. Then, we repair the catapult and launch it.”
“Which side of the switch are you going for, left or right? Hey, where am I?”
“That’s me, over there. See, I’m leaping about.”
“Okay, let’s repair. RUNNNNNN… we have to launch quickly.”
“They’re still attacking. They’re really vicious.”
“Well, crap. Now we have to escort the Friendly Mole back to his seat on the catapult. Then, repair it. Then, launch it. Then destroy the second Siege Tower.”
“I’m out of green. Again.”
“There are some crystals over here, follow me.”

“My thumbs hurt. Break?”
“Oh, totally.”

I had so much fun with Twisty here, and we got to play Xbox. It just went far too fast.

Jamesy and Twisty, at her birthday party

I’ve been involved in a recent web of trickery and deceit. I can admit it now, since it’s all out in the open. It’s always been difficult for Twisty (my younger sister) to have a special birthday. She’s a New Year’s baby, as is one of my dear friends. Do you know how hard it is to plan something special for someone, when their birthday is the first day of the New Year? So not easy. In our younger days, everyone was either hung over or still trying to find their shoes. Or their way home.

I did manage to throw her a surprise birthday party once, but it was the weekend AFTER her actual birthday. So, I think I’m a bit excused for my recent deceptive behavior. Neither one of us could afford to fly home for Christmas this year, and that was hard for the whole family. Plus, this year was a big birthday for Twisty, and she knew I was coming to visit her for that. What she didn’t know was that our parents were going to be there weeks earlier than their annual trip, a day before her birthday. We had a plan, mom and I had it all mapped out. They would drive down a few weeks before expected, and arrive on December 31st. There was an agreement to tell no one, since that would be just more reason for either one of us to accidentally blow it. Then, The Diller (my older sister) said to me on the phone, “Mom and Doug are going to be there, aren’t they?!” Okay, my ability to lie is like my ability to bowl. It’s either a strike, or a gutter ball. Anyway, I hissed to The Diller, “If mom EVER finds out that I told you, she will have my hide.” The Diller wanted to come and surprise Twisty AND the Parental Units. I agreed that this would be awesome. Unfortunately, The Diller ran into the same high-priced airfare that Twisty and I had, and couldn’t make it. Here’s how it went down with Mom & Doug arriving:

The scene: Twisty and I, in her town home, playing Sega Saturn, which I had brought as a gift to her. (WHAT? I have to play up my part!) Twisty’s phone rings:

Twisty: “Hello?”
Parental Units: “Hey, Happy Birthday! Guess how cold it is in South Dakota! Lie…lie…lie.”
The scene: Doorbell rings…
Twisty: “Jamesy, get that….it’s probably a delivery.”
Jamesy: Answers door, it’s the Parental Units, as expected…mom on the phone to Twisty inside. “Hey, TWISTY… it is a delivery, but they need a signature!”
Twisty: “Okay, here… talk to mom.”

Heh. They were on her front porch with Santa hats on. And then, we had a get together the next day at the Legion, and lots of family and friends turned out. I would like to think that Twisty had a great birthday, and it seems like that’s the case.

My New Year’s resolution is to only lie if it’s for a good cause. Hey, I don’t feel like I broke that one last year!